The Paisano®

Are You This Cool Offline? January 19, 2008

People are not always as they appear online. The internet makes it so easy to be something different than we are in reality. I’m not talking about the wild extreme examples of people pretending to be the other gender or things to that effect. I’m referring to the more common situations where people tend to stretch and bend the truth a little about themselves online in order to form a better version of themselves. Why wouldn’t you do it? Well, many prefer to be as honest as they can be online or off, but many more feel it’s better to promote your best features (and photo’s) and let the “warts” show later on in due time. I guess it’s all up to the individual how brutally honest they want to be online.

Here’s a funny music video by Brad Paisley called “ONLINE” that addresses this subject matter in a humorous way.

Here are the lyrics

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m 5 foot 3 and overweight
I’m a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I’ve never been to second base
But there’s whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I’m a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
And I’ve got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

Yeah, I’ll see ya online